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Name change after marriage?

I always believed that women should not change their last name after marriage. And when I got married, I was sure I would do the same. My reasons are technical. Why go through the hassles of a name change when it is not an obligation but just a stupid societal practice? What about the documentation/certificates etc that were issued on the old name? Birth certificate? Graduation degree? Passport? You need another document endorsing that the old and the new name are actually the same person! And do this for the rest of your life??!! And getting more argumentative, why should a girl give up her family or father’s name just because she got married? Why should she disassociate herself from something that has been her identity for her entire life? And for whom? Society? I say – Bull shit! Men who try and impose this, I think, are way too egotist and insecure. If that is the case, they need therapy!

I am lucky to have a family that echo my sentiments – not the BS part though! Anyways, both my sister-in-law have not given up their last name, nor my mom or sis and neither will my wife do so. I think that decision should be left entirely on that individual. If she wishes to endorse her husband’s name after her name, so be it. If it is her desire, I totally understand. That’s purely sentimental. But doing so for reasons beyond that is plain foolish. All it does is create more hassles. Isn’t life complicated enough already?

My message to all women out there: To hell with customs and societal norms – if YOU don’t feel like keeping your husband’s name – Don’t do it!

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14 thoughts on “Name change after marriage?

  1. 😀

    I seem to remember reading somewhere that it is not a custom with Muslim women to change their names after marriage. Your post doesn’t give me that impression, though.

    Anyway, you know I agree!

  2. I’m not sure actually! All Muslim women I know have had their name changed. I had pressure from my people as well. I was told it is the norm. I conveniently chose to defy them! 😀

  3. Man! you know I have always been proud of having you as my friend and now I realise why 🙂
    You are not among the ones who would just do things coz thats how its been. You always have this tendency to weigh it, reason it out and do what seems right to you. And this is what i call the thought of a well educated and well brought up guy with high Morals and Standards!
    Hats of to you….
    You Rock!!!

  4. Sankritya – Thanks! 🙂

    Pu – You didn’t know before today why you were friends with me or proud of me? :p
    Jokes apart, Thanks for the wonderful words.

    But somehow, I haven’t had any male comments yet? :p

  5. I agree to your thoughts of leaving it to the individual.
    btw poo- tum masood ki badi taareef kar rahi ho!! [;)]
    well brought up n educated n all… nahi nahi – i m not disputing that.. but these guys get on cloud 9 when they get appreciation.. so beware! HaHa…

    tk cr.. cheers.

  6. I agree Masood. And it’s good to hear a man say this. I also agree that anybody who does want their spouse to change their name must be insecure, or afraid of what everybody else might think.

    How did I never see this post till now!? Loved it!

  7. Pingback: List of Male Bloggers in Danger… « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

  8. Very well written. I totally endorse your views. I haven’t changed my name post marriage. As you say, it is more convenient. On the career front, I’m known by my pre-marital name. It would totally confuse people if I changed it. Since I work freelance, my name is important! But more importanly, I have retained my family name to honour my parents. For the sacrifices they made to raise me. I walk this world wearing their name with pride.

  9. Thanks for sharing this Masood. Very well written. I totally agree with you. I’ve been through some hell with a bank for the simple name change procedure. Six months later, I finally convinced her to keep her family name only. She really wanted the name change though. It’s not worth the hassle, plus you save so much money in the legal hassles too.

  10. Hi Masood,
    Came over from IHM’s. Crisp post this one… totally agree. I didnt change my name post marriage more for emotional reasons than for convenience.
    Here you talk of just the last name… i have a friend who had to change even her first name… it was customary in their community. It felt strange at that time.. n even now! She and her sisters didnt seem to have any problem with that.. probably because of the conditioning!

  11. Hi Masood…came here from IHM…..Ur post does prove that the youth of today are more open minded, a welcome change……we are bogged down with greater issues than stuff like this..I totally agree, to each his/her own…I changed my name and last name…have no regrets today though changing my first name did make me sad then…..but my daughter did not, and I guess it will be DILs choice too…..I though wouldot say, to hell with the society and customs…..but this in no way does harm the society in any way for sure….

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