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Touch me not

A story has been making rounds in Dubai this morning. Apparently, a man in his mid 30s walks up to a 22 year old woman, who was shopping for wrist watches, patted twice on her butt and told her she needs to exercise. Read more here.

The women has reported him to the authorities.

But this incident got me thinking. How far can we go to comment on someone’s weight? Where should one draw the line?

Ofcourse the above incident is inexcusable. Any amount of physical contact is wrong even if it is just a brush. This is sexual harassment. Infact I think she should have slapped him first and then reported him.

But if that man had walked up to her and politely told her that she needed to exercise, would that be OK?

Or would she ask him to mind his own business?

I’ve never had strangers walk up to me and comment on me, my clothes or my weight. Atleast not offensive things. Though I’ve received a few compliments at times from complete strangers and I don’t mind that. Then why should I be offended if someone said something like, “dude, you look fat in that trouser” or “your shirt does not match your pants” etc. Hasn’t happened yet but would be interesting to know when it does.

For some, weight is an extremely personal thing. Infact it is for me too. When I loose weight and people around me compliment on my waist line, I love it. But when the opposite happens, it is not a pretty thing. But I wouldn’t mind someone I know walking up to me and asking if everything’s OK or if I am under stress or if that extra weight is due to comfort eating. Not sure how I would feel if a stranger said that though.

My point is, if we can take compliments sportingly, why not criticism?

But if someone touches my butt and tells me that, I’ll tear him into pieces. Period.


29 thoughts on “Touch me not

    • Sheesh! That ws too much. U hv a point there. When we cn take compliments, y nt criticism .. but, its always nice to be appreciated no 😛 We need to be really open n cool if we hv to accept both. As for me, coming from strangers, be it a compliment also, hw I wud accept it wud depend on the stranger 😉 😉

    • Actually, as per the news report, she reported him to the authorities. Probably then and there. So yes, he is under custody. And the case is in court.

    • Yes, thin line between a genuine compliment with no pervertish hopes and a compliment just to get in her pants.

      Definitely he’s gotta be unbalanced. Some men do weird things to get to a women.

  1. You don’t call a blind man ‘andha’. That’s the same logic applied here. We know someone is blind but calling them andha on their face is hurtful.

    As for compliments, random people coming to me and complimenting on my dress or shoes is fine with me but on my features like oh! you have beautiful nose would make me skeptical. Don’t want that.

    I was scandalized when some random woman once told me that I have beautiful legs. I was 😐 I mean, that’s so random and that too from another woman.

    And that man must be a drunk or a crack.

    • oh sols, you wouldve been happy when that woman commented on ur legs !! We know about you and your sudden outbursts of songs; remember what you did in Ashs blog months ago !!! 😀 😀 😀

    • Agree. But a blind person cannot help but be blind. They cannot ‘workout’ to gain back their eyesight. On the contrary, an overweight person, maybe with a little criticism, would be motivated to loose weight.

      Ofcourse I don’t necessary agree. I am a little overweight myself. And would be deeply offended if a stranger commented on my weight. But being offended is one thing. Getting motivated to loose that extra flab is another.

      I remember going on a crash diet when a relative once commented on my weight. Though it was offensive, (the last thing I want is a relative telling me something!), I did get motivated and ended up loosing close to 10 kgs and got to my ideal BMI.

  2. Criticism I would take only from those who are part of my close circle. Not from anyone else. Not on personal things atleast. Its hurtful.
    Compliments of a certain kind are acceptable when compliments too start getting personal I do a double take

    cant imagine someone doing that! 😯
    I can land a few punches and extremely well at that :evil:.

    • Agree. Criticism from someone outside the close circle can be hurtful. But what if that criticism kicked you to do something about it?

      I know I am extremely bad with criticism. But when the anger & hurt subsides, I eventually try and work on it.

      Hehe. Thankfully you don’t bite 😀

  3. Oh, it feels great to be complimented 🙂 but there are some who suffocate you with their good words ! I hate them and I stay away from them !!

    When it comes to criticisms as long as they have a logic in what they are saying; if they themselves know what they are speaking ! 😀 😀

    and regarding that man and woman; no comments ! He is an idiot !

  4. no one has a right to comment on other person weight…neither it being more nor being less… specially if u dont know the person

    trust me i have had people telling me mam weight jyaada hai na thats why and it hurts… like don said do u call a blind man “andha” yeah i know some idiots do but they are called jut that idiots right

    infact no one has a right to comment on anyone’s physical appearance

    and same goes for the compliments… if a stranger comes and tells me nice dress I would smile back and say thanks but if he/she goes on and on abt praising i would back off

  5. Compliments or criticism from a stranger is a big no-no for me. My life, my physical attributes are so personal to me that no one dares talk abt it. Full stop.

    And that incident is very rude. As you wrote, she should have slapped him first and then complained later. He deserves it.

  6. Am sure that guy after he is released or whatever would frget to comment on any BUTTS in his lifetime…

    I am guessin he must be a tourist 😉 warna dubai ke log aur yeh gustakhi…kabhi nai

  7. this reminds me of that shot in the KJ film – Amitabh Bachan looking at Kiron Kher’s backside and commenting “Definitely Chandigarh” That was supposed to be funny, but i didnt think that way… so well, she should have slapped him first and then reported him to the police.

  8. Euuww..that was so terribly inappropriate act for whatever reason that may followed..!! 😯

    Well, criticism indeed is good but you have to see the context too.
    For something that is general, you still can do this. But for something that is quite personal or even super personal, in here..you definitely need to be real careful. Not only for strangers but also for closed persons.

    I know that sometimes we cant prevent others to give comments on something. But still, I also know the limitation for the comments whether they’re still acceptable or not and I do expect that others might respect the limit too.

    A fave quote of mine stated like this :
    Words can be like knives,they can cut you open

    so yes, it wouldnt harm you even a bit if you can act and talk in a real proper time and proper way rite ? 😉

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