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Joint family

My last post is the catalyst behind this post.

Over the years, I’ve been pretty vocal on this blog about my joint family status. For the uninitiated, I live with my parents and rest of my family which includes 2 elder brothers and a younger sis. All married and with kids now. Yes, my house is a riot at all times. Why do you think we moved into a villa then? Driving through the main gate into the car park, the only thing we need to dodge is the cricket bat, tricycle, wickets, balls, dolls, toy cars etc. Oh, and sometimes, the kids!

And like all joint families, we’ve had our challenges. Some tough days. Some days when all hells breaks lose. Days when looks like there is no tomorrow. Days when we could break off…

Who gets the bathroom first? Who gets the best couch and remote? Fighting for your life to get that last gulab jamun. Getting a shirt from the laundry only to see someone else wearing it the next morning. Dodging glaring stares from parents on buying that branded jeans. Deciding which restaurant to go to celebrate someone’s birthday. Passing the grocery list to one another. Selective amnesia when asked for last month’s credit card statement. Who gets the largest pizza slice or the last one? Which movie to watch? Who takes the car out from a proper parking on a busy evening? Deciding who all go to the airport to receive someone? And so on.

Yes, these are our challenges. What were you expecting?

Maybe that’s why we are able to stick it out. To hang in there. Life is not easy. We wake up each morning, go through the rounds and before you realize, day is over. What do you think makes the day worthwhile?

Is it a fancy car or clothes or working in a plush office? A six figure salary? Yes, these things make life better and comfortable.

But it is the sight of my family at the end of the day makes this life COMPLETE.

Walking in after a tough day at work and seeing kids (not just my kid but my brother son and his year old daughter, my sister’s year old son and my other bro’s new born). Talking (read: cursing) about work at the dining table with my brothers. Teasing my sis-in-laws. Specially their cooking.

My mom and seeing that loving smile on her face. And her undying affection for us. Each one of us. Complaining in front of her about anything and everything because she is the only one who will always find you right.

My dad and his undying trust and support. Our discussions with him. About the future. About investments. About life in general. And about his worries on our increasing expenses!

Would I trade this for anything else? Would I want this in any other way?

There is no secret behind a successful and happy joint family. In the end, it is only about how badly you want it. Not just for yourself but for others. True there is the odd hustle. Arguments. Misunderstandings. Complaints. Sacrifices. It is how these issues get resolved. It is how best you can rise after you fall.

I am not vouching for it. Nor recommending it for anyone. Circumstances result in decisions. Decisions lead your life.

We took a decision. We made a choice. And we are working to keep it that way. All of us.

And that’s why I am so proud of my family. *TOUCHWOOD*

24 thoughts on “Joint family

  1. I could’nt understand if you were bit defensive in the last para; may be not. JF was the norm in my childhood and living seperately was odd, these days living solo is unavoidable rather than being a choice. JF may have few compromises but solo families honestly have even more difficulties- so there is no need to be apolegetic about it.
    JF or solo what matters for most of them out there is fiscal security and stability, which we have and may not be thinking of.
    Even solo families try to compensate the emotional support needs by making friends if they live far away from their homes which you guys need not resort to and if ‘within’ there are concerns to anyone it is better that they understand what they may be really missing will be understood only when the paradise is lost.

    • Arif bhai, I was not being apologetic or even defensive. I was trying to be understanding for folks who are in favor of joint families but not being able to do so due to unavoidable circumstances.

      I am aware of several guys who have decided against it by choice.

      At the end of the day, it is a choice.

  2. Touchwood and God Bless your awesome family! 🙂
    To have trust, understanding, companionship and unconditional love from one’s entire family is truly a blessing! 🙂

  3. 🙂 I suppose you know that I too live with my brother and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our parents keep coming but my mom doesn’t like it here so they don’t stay long.

    It is difficult, we fight, we argue, but there are a lot of perks as well…. Especially after the kids, I think if one of us has to move somewhere else, the kids will be heartbroken.

    My brother got his Canada visa, did his first landing but now dropped his plan. One of the reasons was I did not agree to also apply 🙂

    I fully understand the concerns of those who do not like this way but yes, you summed it up perfectly when you said “Circumstances result in decisions. Decisions lead your life. and we made a choice”

    It’s been a good choice till now!


    • Yes, I was aware that you are very close to your brother but didn’t know that you live together. Now I do 🙂

      Absolutely. One of the advantages of living together is the kids.

      You wont believe it but Monday is the toughest day for them. We spend the whole weekend together and kids totally enjoy themselves and come monday, it is back to routine. And kids are so cranky that day. Ibrahim misses his cousins. And vice versa. Atleast my son can convey his feelings now. He keeps asking, where is Abdullah (my sister’s son) etc and we tell him they are at the other home and we will go there in a few days. And he understands….atleast for a few minutes before he asks the same question again! But the other kids are still little and can’t convey. So they cry and remain cranky all day.

      Why did you turn down the Canada application?

  4. Long time dude… ! but this is a heart felt post… I live in a joint family and also act up as the so called head.. although my brothers wont agree !!! 😛 😛

    I must ensure my brothers read this… ! 🙂

    Touchwood !!!

    • Hey dude. Yep, its been a while. Blogging and blog hopping has taken a back seat in life. But here I am. When ever I can.

      Head of the family? Are you the eldest?

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