How not to eat KFC

One of the things I totally hate is people abusing what I totally love. Like I hate it when someone has a high powered car and drive around like sissies.

I love KFC. Period.

Over the years, I’ve seen hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people eat KFC. Some doing full justice. Others being a complete disgrace (in my opinion!). For the uninitiated, KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken. So if you are a staunch vegetarian, stop now and leave. And don’t stop by this blog ever again! Yes, I am serious.

No. Just kidding. But its OK if you take it seriously.

The other day I saw a bunch of people eating KFC and one of them started eating it but kept throwing the skin/topping. Now if you’ve ever eaten KFC, you would know that the best part of the chicken is the topping. And this guy just threw it. God, what a waste. What a crime. He doesn’t deserve it.

A couple of years back, I was at KFC in Bangalore and I saw a family. And I wish I did not. This entire family was eating the chicken alright, but that’s not all. They were even eating the bones. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean, why would anyone want to chew the bones?! Eitherways, I decided not to look in that direction ever.

I’ve often seen people eat a piece and throwing it half eaten and moving to the next piece. I mean, whats the point of eating chicken if you don’t know how to completely finish a piece. But I can still forgive and forget these guys. But the first two are unpardonable!

My association with KFC has been since I was kid. Back then, they had this ‘All you can eat’ offer from 12pm to 4 pm on weekdays. Imagine a group of 15-16 yr olds walking into the restaurant for an ‘All  you can eat’. It was crazy. And we had a challenge to see who is the last man standing. I am proud to say that I once managed to eat 11 pieces. But that was not the record. Not even close. A friend once ate 18 pieces. That’s the all-time record. Haven’t heard of anyone who to eat more than that. Each one in my group used to eat anything from 8 to 12 pieces. And we took breaks during the meal to ensure we could eat as much as possible. We even stepped out of the restaurant, leaving behind someone at the table, to stop the waiter from picking our plates. Got back in 10-15 min, after some rest, or a walk, some fresh air, for round 2. And sometimes even round 3. It was insane. But it worked. And at the end of a meal, we would feel so nauseated that we would vow never to eat KFC ever again. That vow would last only till the next morning. And we were back for yet another ‘All you can eat’.

Even today, I am game for KFC any day but only a quarter of what I ate back then. One my best day, I can eat 5 pieces now. Otherwise, its only 3. But they don’t have ‘All you can eat’ anymore. So nothing lost.

And the best part. Despite eating like that, I was never over-weight. And my waist was a measly 31 inches. I did play a LOT of cricket, football, basketball, volleyball and was into athletics back then. But today, a couple of pieces and I feel I could explode!